Carers Week is an annual campaign dedicated to raising awareness for carers while highlighting the challenges unpaid carers face across the UK. As someone who has cared for her daughter for the last 10 years, along with a family member living with dementia, I understand just how difficult life as an unpaid carer can be. It’s the only job that comes with no training, no manual, and often, no support—and that needs to change. My hope is that by sharing my experience, I can help raise awareness of this silent but vital community.

When my daughter Lauren (Access Your Life Founder & Director) asked me to write something for Carers Week, I wasn’t sure how I’d put all my thoughts into words. I am both Lauren’s mum and her registered carer—two roles that are so deeply entwined it’s hard to separate them. I care for her medical needs as a carer, but above all, I am her mum. Becoming a carer a decade ago was something I never expected, especially because Lauren’s disability developed so suddenly. Despite now being “familiar,” life as her carer is still complicated, unpredictable, and, at times, terrifying. And because of this, the job never ends—it’s 24/7.

I won’t sugarcoat it—being a carer is exhausting. Managing Lauren’s physical needs is incredibly draining, especially as I have osteoarthritis. But what really takes its toll is the emotional strain. Nobody tells you that being a carer isn’t just about physical care—it’s about planning, organising, and constantly thinking ahead. Nothing is spontaneous. Every part of Lauren’s day is mapped out in detail, and we always have backup plans, medications, and regimes in place. Even then, her health can throw us a curveball in minutes—whether we’re on a plane, at an appointment, or watching TV in bed.

There is always something that needs sorting. Ordering prescriptions. Calling pharmacies to find specific medications. Planning ahead so we never run out of “made-to-order” drugs. Driving from Newcastle to London multiple times a year to access specialist treatments. Rearranging appointments, chasing prescriptions, speaking to consultants, and—perhaps most importantly—doing everything we can to keep Lauren out of the hospital. That alone is a full-time job, especially given the medication shortages and delays that have become all too common.

Another battle we constantly face is ensuring Lauren receives the care she deserves. I naively thought that once she had a diagnosis, support would fall into place. But like many with complex needs, we’ve had to fight for every prescription, treatment, and care plan. Just as things settle, something changes—funding gets cut, guidelines shift—and we’re back to square one. I’ve learned never to get complacent.

Something I also never realised is that no one, no matter how close, can fully understand our reality. That’s why awareness for unpaid carers is so important. Too often, people assume that one happy photo means Lauren is “all better” or “not that ill,” when the truth is far more complex. Her disability never takes a break—not even on holiday.

As both a carer and a mum, I carry the guilt that comes with parenting a disabled child. I would do anything to take the pain away and bear it myself. It’s heartbreaking to see a loved one suffer. It changes everything—family life, relationships, even your sense of self. Over time, I’ve learned the importance of looking after my own mental health, even though, as most carers know, it’s never at the top of the to-do list. Thankfully, I have a few people I can lean on when I need to vent or share the load.

Despite the challenges, I’m grateful that I’m not doing this alone. We’re a close-knit family that pulls together—whether it’s picking up prescriptions, walking Lauren’s assistance dog, or tackling laundry after a medical leak. Lauren’s partner is incredible, tag-teaming care with me day and night. Her best friend is always there for her, through thick and thin. And then there’s Fliss, her wonderful assistance dog, who brings joy to us all. We’ve learned to find laughter in even the most difficult moments.

I no longer grieve the life we once imagined. It’s taken years to come to terms with it, but I have. And now, I look forward to our version of normal—whatever the future may bring.

📌 Useful Links

Follow and support the Carers Week campaign online:

🔗 Carers Week on Facebook
🔗 @carers_week on Instagram
🔗 Carers Week on X (formerly Twitter)